WSTX CHANNEL 68 ANNOUNCES SUMMER BEACH PROGRAMMING EVENT: SURF, SNOBS & SANDWORMS

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East Boston, MA — WSTX Channel 68 is proud, worried, and legally advised to announce its all-summer seaside programming block, Surf, Snobs & Sandworms, a three-feature beach broadcast designed for viewers who believe summer should include sun, social tension, obsolete technology, and at least one unexplained subterranean digestive event.

Beginning this summer, WSTX viewers are invited to draw the curtains, ignore the nice weather, and tune in for a coastal triple feature of suspicious leisure:

Computer Beach Party

A sun-baked collision of bikinis, development schemes, and early computer optimism, proving once and for all that the beach can only truly be saved by the youth, the weirdos, and whoever knows how to boot the machine without losing the file.

Beach House

A salt-air class-war rental comedy where vacation becomes a battleground, the rich kids bring attitude, and the working stiffs bring the only thing that matters: absolute refusal to let snobs ruin the summer.

Blood Beach

A warning from the sand itself. The ocean is not the problem. The shark is not the problem. The problem is directly beneath your towel, waiting patiently for ankles, tourists, and anyone who thought “beach day” was a safe category of human activity.

“Every great television station eventually has to go to the beach,” said an unnamed WSTX programming associate while shaking sand out of a Betamax case. “We just wanted to make sure our beach had enough computers, class resentment, and things that swallow people from below.”

With Surf, Snobs & Sandworms, WSTX Channel 68 continues its commitment to summer programming that feels recovered from a motel drawer, broadcast through a loose coaxial cable, and hosted by a lifeguard who has seen too much.

Viewers are encouraged to bring sunscreen, a towel, a floppy disk, and a healthy distrust of beachfront real estate opportunities.

SURF, SNOBS & SANDWORMS

All summer long on WSTX Channel 68

The surf is up.
The snobs are out.
The sand is hungry.

For press inquiries, sponsorship opportunities, or reports of unusual dune movement, contact:

WSTX Channel 68 Programming Office
“Your Signal Is Our Problem.”

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